Sunday, March 10, 2013

Psalm 37:25

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. -- Psalm 37:25.

I wrote about balancing a flexible budget the other day. I told you that my expenses were more than I anticipated, but it was acheivable. The more I think about it, the more concerned I am. I am re-thinking everything, and feeling really vulnerable. All I want to do is curl up by my man and let him hold me and tell me that everything will be ok, because he's there. I miss him so much, but there is no way that I can trade my safety and my daughter's safety for the emotional solace a marriage brings. So, no more looking back. I must look forward and try to figure out how to make things work.

I need lots of prayer for wisdom. I need to know what I should do. The expenses are huge in comparison to the flexible income I'll be receiving. The major thing I didn't expect to be so big is the utility bill. I called the mobile home park, and they said I should budget around $400/month. I was hoping for so much less. The good thing is that it has a fireplace, so that can help in the winter, and in the summer, maybe we'll just get a bit toasty. But I have a hard time imagining cutting down more than $100/month on utility usage. I'd originally thought I could budget $100/month for utilities. Ha!

My lawyer said I should apply for disability, but I really don't want to. If I can work, I don't want the weight of responsibility to lay on the people of America. Yet, I can't hold down a job. Tutoring really did seem like the perfect idea, but I'm finding it difficult to find students.

I am fully aware that there is much time before I need to be worrying, and all this just after me saying that I'm so much like the Israelites! Oh me of little faith.

I went to google to look up the reference for Psalm 37:25. As I got there, it said "Don't panick" With an arrow flashing to the words. I just don't know how to provide for my daughter and myself. Anyone care to send a hug to help make me feel better?

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