Saturday, October 5, 2013

Health issues galore

It is clear that stress wreaks havoc on our body's systems. Chronic heightened levels of stress have been linked to many health problems, and as I stare at this list, I'm more discouraged than anything. I've dealt with nearly every item on the list since the close of 2012. It's been rough, and my body is taking the beating.

I've had multiple serious health issues, and they seem to be getting worse. While I know some of the health problems stem from how I'm taking care of myself and the fuel I'm burning, I truly believe the greatest source of my growing agony is stress. Do you know how hard it is to not stress about that?

I am taking steps to eliminate stress from my life. This is how:

- I am actively seeking to think more positively every day.
- I am cutting out all forms of negativity that I can. Unfortunately, this has even included avoiding some people I dearly love and losing some clients--and their money!
- I am praying more, and feel closer to Him often. He frequently encourages me with random thoughts and verses. The latest was James 4:2 "You have not because you ask not." More on that later.
- I am reading positive things and I have drastically cut way back on TV time and only watch shows depicting hope and life.
- I am reaching out more in times of need, and allowing people to help me. As I do so, my eyes are opened to how much people care!
- I am re-starting old projects that bring me joy. Take this one for example. There is another one, but as this is an anonymous blog, I dare not share. :)
- I am learning that what I think affects my health, and am practicing II Cor. 10:5 and Phil. 4:8
- I am meditating on God's true and eternal Word, and looking to God for my strength.

Unfortunately, this list does not mean it's all better. In fact, since determining to become more positive, my health has fallen further. This confuses me to the extent that I called a friend to meet with me and pray. You know you have an amazing friend when she's willing to drop everything, drive to meet you, hold your hands and pray. And you know what? That prayer session was powerful! It completely knocked out the worst of my symptoms.

That symptom had been occurring for over a month. For a 2 week period, I was about to run to the ER.  The amazing thing is that it was gone after we prayed, but I am weak and sick. I have a terrible head cold that wraps my brain in pain, and I feel so emaciated, lethargic, and just awful! I ask that you join with me to pray these symptoms away as well. I'm ready to be healthy.

Please join me in prayer for my health and in the continued improvement of my stress levels. I have a long journey ahead of me, though the roughest part seems to be behind me. If you would like to send random happy thoughts my way, that would be a blessing!

God bless!

Friday, October 4, 2013

Obamacare: What to do???

There are certain things you're told to avoid in polite conversation: Finances, Religion, and Politics. I've already discussed the first two, so if I haven't scared you off yet, I'm sure this won't either. You're great for sticking around, by the way. I appreciate you. :)

Ok, so here's the shocking truth: I'm glad we have a government shutdown. I can almost hear the shocked intakes of breath and the bitter rage from those whose families are going without pay. Let me be clear that I feel for you. If you comment below, I'll be sure to pray extra prayers for you. And though this is a tiny offer, I'm also willing to send coupons. Feel free to email me at

Now let me tell you why I'm glad the government shut down. The alternative sickens me. To accept Obamacare is to force health care down people's throats. I've read a multiplicity of times that Obamacare finally grants health care to everyone. The poor are finally covered! Nothing is ever free, and this health care plan is no exception.

I know several families who have gone without health care so they can put food on the table. Literally, it's a choice of eating or having health care. I may one day be forced with such a decision, and it may be a day sooner than I'd like to really consider. This health care bill would cause us greater heartache. It would force us to pay, even if we have no money. And if we don't pay for our own health care, we get fined.

Some of you are shaking your heads and calling foul. You're right. It's not exactly a fine. It would come out of our taxes. Supposedly, if it comes out of taxes, we won't feel it. But it's our money, and it's money families like yours are counting on to buy their kids clothes that fit, to fix the car, and to call the repair man, because the air conditioning broke last summer.

Another reason I'm against it is that health care costs across the board are rising! So, now these families are forced to pay more for something that they couldn't afford in the first place. This aspect of the dilemma reaches up from the lower class and grabs the ankles of those in the middle class. Many of you have likely received letters or emails describing how Obamacare will be affecting your policies. If you haven't, I encourage you to call your insurance provider and ask! Don't you want to know what's being forced down your throats?

And that's what I'm really nervous about! Despite all my research, I still don't know all the changes that will take place once this health care bill goes into affect. How deeply will it reach into my life? As Pelosi said, "We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it." Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Is it any wonder that politicians (including Pelosi) are exempt??? I mean, I don't want this thing to apply to me, either!

So, what can we do about this? Many of us watch helplessly while congress and the senate are locked in a battle of the wills. But now is the time to speak up! I beg you to call your congressmen and senators and tell them that you do not want this! Remind your politicians that they represent you-- that's why they're called representatives, after all.

On a final note: I'm proud of Congress, and I'm tired of them being the dog that gets kicked in all this. Congress is trying to stand for what we as Americans desire, and has brought many proposals to the Senate, all of which have been denied. Before the government was shut down, Congress offered a proposal to table Obamacare for a month so the parties would have ample time to come to a compromise while avoiding a shutdown. The senate shut that proposal down, and the government followed shortly thereafter. Let's put the blame where it belongs!

Don't forget to call your representatives!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The end is on the horizon

I am at the edge of yesterday, about to finally cross into tomorrow. The divorce papers are being prepared, and as long as my soon to be ex-husband doesn't pop up with any surprises, I should be turning in the completed papers by the end of the month.

I consider the old life I'm leaving behind, and the great fears I had while leaving. I can't help but praise the Lord who's carried me through. So many fears about what could happen, even warnings from people who care about how hard this would be. It's like the Lord lifted me out of a horrible situation and carried me on angel's wings to this safe mountain. Here, I once again feel much like Abraham. From this mountain, I can see the past and the trials I've come through. As I turn, I can also see the new life that awaits me.

I know you've all heard this before, but I found the perfect place! For real this time, I think. It's minutes from the best church in the world (for me, anyway.) It's within my budget and almost 1,000 square feet! I've already mapped out where I want my furniture when I get it. It's home, though I'm not there, and I don't know when I will be.

I am the fourth on a waiting list for a one-bedroom apartment. They say it's estimated that an apartment will open up in 60-90 days. But they have no news of anyone moving out, so your guess is as good as theirs. I'm hoping to have the divorce finalized before I move in.

I must admit that I'm relieved and excited to move on to this new life. I find myself sometimes looking longingly behind me to a marriage that was to last forever, but then I look closer and see the chaos, fear, and devastation. I'm glad to leave that life behind.

Please do continue to pray. There have been some in law enforcement that have told me to expect the unexpected. Essentially, it's not over until it's done. I won't stop praying until that time, and I ask that you do the same. Thank you all for the joy you've shared! I've made it this far due in part to your prayers. Keep them coming!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Showers of blessings

It has been too long, but I know some people still look for updates, so I need to share this miraculous way that God is proving Himself real in my life.

As you may know, I am getting a divorce to save my child from a life of pain and heartache. It was a decision thrust upon me, and I had no choice but to move forward. Being someone determined to never get a divorce, I have not taken this well, but I know this is what God would have me do. And God is proving Himself real in many ways.

The last time I wrote, I was stuck between 2 bad decisions. I could either go through a lawyer who knew her stuff, but was expensive at a $2,500 minimum. My other choice involved free assistance, but though I was told I qualify, they only took the first 15 callers in a one hour period 3 days a week. I called and called, but I never got through. I got tired of hearing the busy signal that I had once thought was a thing of the past.

I didn't want to start life as a single mom with handing over $2,500. It just seemed like I wouldn't be wise use of my money with this option. But after months of calling to get a pro-bono lawyer, I was feeling like I was getting nowhere. I researched filing the papers myself, and discovered that it would only be $500. As tempting as that was, I needed a lawyers input to ensure that my daughter stayed safe. I knew I wasn't qualified to make sure there were no loop holes.

I spend a lot of my time in the car driving to students' homes. It was on such a journey that I poured my heart out to God while my baby slept in her car seat. I begged God to help me decide which option I should choose. I told Him $2,500 is too much, and asked if He could find a way for the entire thing to cost no more than $1,000. I told Him I knew it could be free this other way, but that I felt I had hit a brick wall. Finally, I asked Him to show me which one I should do.

The more I prayed, the more I felt that God had something else prepared for me. I felt like God was going to bring something perfect and plop it into my lap. I decided it was time I abandon the other ideas. I began researching to try to find another lawyer, and while I did, my eyes fell on an ad that intrigued me. "Get and uncontested divorce for $750!" It seemed too good to be true, but I clicked on the link and landed on a page that had everything I was searching for.

I called and discussed the case with one of the paralegals. She told me that with the filing fees, the divorce would be about $1,000. I hung up the phone, and turned a tear-streamed face to my God Who hears and answers prayers. God is proving Himself real in a powerful way, and my heart is filled with praise.

As things stand now, my daughter's father and I are working together to get an uncontested divorce. (Can I tell you how incredible it is to be able to write that sentence??? God truly does turn hearts!) In a few weeks, I should file, and then it will take 60 days for the divorce to process.

There are those that have warned me that he may be working with lawyers and planning a surprise attack from behind. I hear them, and with wisdom, I am mentally lining up defenses and offenses in case I need to go to court. I don't think I'll have to, though. I really think I'm almost done, and I really know God is governing this divorce. I rest in His sovereign care, and I attempt to leave my worries at His feet.

God cares. Even when things are spiraling out of control, God cares. And He cares for you, too. I'd love to hear your testimony of God caring. It would be a great encouragement to me. Let's praise His name together!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Biting off more than I can chew

Have you ever decided you're going to hit the ground running, and you fall flat on your face? That is exactly my fear. I'm going to be honest with all of you. After all, most of you don't know who I am anyway.

I was depressed for a while there. I stopped blogging, I stopped writing the articles, and I stopped trying to find tutoring students. I kinda just stopped. About the same time I started writing blog posts again, I kicked myself into gear. But rather than going from first to second to third gear, I jumped up to the 4th gear! I'm still reeling from the shock, but I intend to even out, and go back to running smoothly. I just have to get through this week. After that, things will be much easier!

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, this past week, I began writing blog posts again, I began writing articles again, I started tutoring 2 more students, I began mystery shopping a lot, and I've been much more active on my little online presence. I went from a month or two of standing still to a week of flying! And this next week isn't slowing down, either!

With that, I bid you adieu. I am beyond exhausted, and really need sleep. I seem to have overbooked myself exactly when my little one is teething and hitting wonder week. Whew! Too much to chew, indeed!

Monday, July 29, 2013


Yesterday, as I was getting my daughter ready and heading out the door, it dawned on me that she and I were going to church as a family. The thought warmed my heart as I strapped her into the car seat. I walked into the church with people greeting us (Ok... greeting my little one mostly) and I felt uniquely satisfied. I feel blessed that God has given me the peace that just me and my daughter makes a family. Although it's not the family I would have liked, it is one that I love! I know God has special plans for our little family, and I pray He grants me wisdom as I lead my little girl. A lifetime of adventures await us!

For now, though, I am most excited about finding a home of our own. It's a little tiny one bedroom apartment that will be mine to decorate and make into a home. For the first while, it will be a very humble home as I await the shipment of my goods from overseas. After all, why buy a table and chairs when I'll be getting mine?

I will need some basic things to tide me over, but I plan to ask for loaners from friends and seek super deals. I don't think I'll make it without some basic kitchen equipment, cleaning supplies, and other such things. I won't move in for another month, so it gives me a full month to start seeking incredible deals.

I know God will provide. I actually got a Facebook message as I was telling this from a friend asking if I wanted some little baby girl clothes. So, my daughter will be clothed for the fall with clothes I did not buy. The rest of the home will fall together. God has a way of knowing what I need. I trust in Him.

Sunday, July 28, 2013


Ok, so apparently I'm not very good at keeping up with my blog. I had been getting down on myself about that when I decided to consider those things that I have been good at consistently. I've been good at tutoring and taking care of my daughter. I could do better at taking care of myself, and I intend to do so.

The reality is that I've been doing a good job taking care of my daughter, and that makes my heart swell with pride and joy. There have been many, many changes, and I intend to share those along the way. For now, let me just say a big thank you to those who have consistently continued looking at my blog.