When I left my abusive husband in December, I knew I couldn't file for a divorce for 6 months. At first, time dragged on, and it seemed that I would be stuck in this transitory state forever. I got my tutoring job, and time picked up its speed. Suddenly, weeks were going by in rapid succession. I tutored for just over a month before it was cancelled. I cannot believe I began tutoring that student at the beginning of April. A whole month was swallowed in productivity.
The amazing thing is that I wasn't even doing that much. I was just tutoring three days each week. Just that little bit of scheduling sped time on. I was venting frustrations to a friend, and she pointed out that I've already made it 4 months. Would you believe I actually had to check the calendar? Four months!? No way!! Sure enough, I already have 4 months under my belt. In just 2 months, I can file and no longer be yoked to an abusive man. I will no longer fear for my daughter's safety.
I was concerned that now that I no longer have tutoring, time would go back to slowly marching. As I considered how my productivity affected the passing of time, I determined to fill my weeks with a reliable schedule.
My hope is that by filling my week with reliable, productive events, I can artificially create the productive passing of time.
So far, I am planning a day for shopping, a day for cleaning, Sunday and Wednesday are church, and maybe I can go over to a friend's house once each week. There's also a Bible study I can attend on Tuesdays. Beyond that, I intend to write for an hour every day, and reach out to one person each day about my tutoring.
I hope that very soon I will see that it is time to free myself from the fear of pain from the hands of one who is supposed to love me. It feels that it is too far away to comprehend, but maybe soon someone will remind me that it's just around the corner. Soon, my pain will be behind me, and a life of peace will be waiting. I intend to make it seem sooner.