Whether we mean to or not, each of us makes judgments daily. The normal kind is benign. If you see someone smile, you automatically weigh that evidence, and judge that the person must be happy. You see someone cry, and automatically judge the person must be going through a trying time. These types of judgments occur automatically, and seemingly without thought. If you're really analytical, you may judge other things to determine that the smile is not all there is.
My fear is that if people know I'm getting a divorce, I'll be judged with the modern-day scarlet letter. A big red D. Especially among Christians, divorce is one of those things judged to be terrible. And it is terrible. In this day and age, many people get divorced because of finances, the house not being cleaned right, or just because, or as people say, "we fell out of love." Because these unjustified reasons for divorce became so popular, those of us who legitimately need a divorce get thrown out with the bunch.
Those who know me know that something unspeakable must have happened, so I fear no reprisal from them. And my readers have been amazing! I have yet to receive one negative comment or email. All I get from you all is support, and I so appreciate that! I suppose my fear concerns the future. As I walk around with my daughter, always alone. As I go to church, always alone. Not to mention pushing around a stroller without wearing a wedding ring.
I've been told I shouldn't worry what people think of me, but I am such a people person! Here I am in a new place, and I want to get to know people! But they start asking the innocent, yet hard questions. How long are you in town for? Is your husband here, too? Where do you live? I feel that I must give answers without unveiling the whole situation. It is unlike me. I am such an open person.
Perhaps, on reflection, it is me judging them to be judgy. Perhaps I should stop just saying, "Just pray" with a smile on my face, and trust that the God who is leading me step by step is also the God Who will bring the right people accross my path. I need friends, and I know God knows that. He created me to be the people person I am. Perhaps it is time to step out and share.
As always, feel free to email me at 4mychildbyHisgrace@gmail.com
And because I have had 3 people asking how they can help, I will be drafting a list of things I need. But I want all of you to promise that you will not help my family if it will cause a hardship in your own. As always, the biggest thing I need is prayer. You can find the prayer requests on the right or on the top if you're viewing on mobile. Thank you all for your unfailing prayer and support!