I have to laugh, though I want to cry.

In my last post, I was declaring how wonderful it was to do just 3 loads each week. Well, God certainly has a sense of humor. It seems that my daughter is teething and her system is taking it hard. She has looser stools and has been throwing up. The result was 4 loads of laundry done today! lol. In the end, I had to really figure out what to wash with the last load, because everything was clean! So much for my easy laundry! I laugh now, though I certainly wasn't at the time!

I will tell you that the life of a single mother is exhausting! It has been hard trying to soothe her, wash her, clean up everything, and still get to see those adorable smiles without the help of her father. In fact, right now, my bed is covered in spit-up that she spewed a few hours ago. Because my mom has limited space, I share a room with my daughter. I began stripping my sheets, when she turned in her crib because of the noise. It took 2 hours to get her to sleep, so tonight, I'm camping on the floor! I would rather sleep on the floor than not sleep in my bed on clean sheets. Still, everything is rather hard.

I either need to laugh for a long time or to really cry. And I go back and forth between the two. My brother has been amazing sharing funny photos or videos to me, and then I considered watching a tear jerker today. I just never had an opportunity until after my little one went to sleep, and by then, I just didn't feel like it was a good idea. As I cry, I will finally think about everything my mind has so expertly hidden. I am an expert at avoiding pain, but it makes it more difficult to deal with in the end. Drawing it out helps me deal with it, but also puts everything front and cernter in my mind-- definitely not something I want to do right before bed.

Actually, I'd like to ask for prayer against nightmares.  I am in the midst of a horrible situation, and I am honestly having a hard time dealing with all the emotions. During the day, I strive to push it all away and act normal. I wish it were the same in the dream world. My mind seems to turn it over and over at night while I sleep, and I end up not sleeping well at all. That's not good for any mother of a young child! We need our sleep!!! Speaking of, I should really head to bed now. My little one has been asleep for a while, and my laundry is ready to be moved to the dryer. I'll fold it after the sun rises. May God bless us each with the nuggets of truth we personally need in church tomorrow! Say hi to someone! Everyone needs a friend!